I don't know about you guys, but there are moments when I feel really guilty about gaming. Now don't get me wrong, I think gaming is an entirely admirable passtime, and I don't hold it above or below reading or watching movies or stamp collecting or whatever. That is to say, this isn't me bagging gaming as a form of personal entertainment. Or maybe it is.
The thing is - I can't help but wince inside when I look at my progress in FFXII and realise I've clocked up over 100 hours of gametime, and that's just one game I have on the go at the moment. I estimate I spend half my spare time gaming (and often the other half is spent gaming while drinking).
So why the guilt? For me, I think it's 2 reasons. Number one, I am almost 25. This is a big deal for me, I HATE the thought of turning 25, HATE it. Throughout my teens and early twenties I would make an immature decision and think: 'what the hell, I'm still young.' As I near 25, every decision I make needs to feel more....justified. Do I really want to spend so much spare time in front of a television? I mean, damn, I could be working out, or saving the money I spend on games for travel, or finding buddah. Wouldn't it be better to find buddah?
Number two: Since graduating, I have decided to class myself as a 'writer'. I only work part-time, with the intentions of journo and creative work during the days I'm not at my job. This is a different lifestyle for you guys who work full-time - I can absolutely understand the appeal of unwinding in front of Mario Galaxy at the end of a long days work earning money to support yourself and/or your family, kudos. But as someone who has dedicated herself to the 'creative lifestyle', I feel awful when every moment of unpaid breathing is 'wasted'. Let's face it, when I beat that last colossus I'm not changing the world.
Perhaps gaming is like boozing, something that should be done in moderation. It makes me very happy, but I'm also aware that I'm an almost-25 year old lass who plays with orcs and splicers and uzis in favour of other - perhaps healthier - pursuits.
I suppose the question is then, how much is too much?
And on that note, I'm gonna go grab a beer and play some more Guitar Hero.
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