Top 10 - LAN Games

Top 10 - LAN Games

Reuben gives you the Top 10 LAN games of all time.

LANs are for geeks right? WRONG. LANs are for the sophisticated gamer who like to come together in a union of gaming bliss with associates of all shapes and sizes to partake in something so beautiful words cannot describe, but if words had to describe it would be this candy coated goodness.

Ahem, anyway, I think I've played enough games to know what is good enough for a LAN and what isn't, and even if I haven't who's going to stop me . . . you the reader? Yeah right! (that wasn't a challenge to kill my column . . . so please put down that placard and back away from the phone).

Well let's get the ball rolling.

10 - StarCraft

StarCraft or Brood War will do fine for a quick blast just before midnight. The game in itself is a bit archaic now but it still has a steady online following and if you don't have WarCraft III it's the next best thing. StarCraft has more player made maps than I can shake a stick at, but be warned some are almost X rated. After playing 1 round of "Break the condom" you may find yourself putting this game away for the night amongst the blissful silence until someone stutters, but not all is lost, there is still plenty of non-deviant maps to play, rock on the Protoss! ^_-

Also before you start crying a Zealot Rush IS an acceptable strategy, you have been warned.

9 - DOOM

DOOM should be played for the laughs and the nostalgic factor, but it shouldn't be the first game you boot up to get your LAN underway as its rustic action may be a bit much for someone who isn't strung out and tired. DOOM's multiplayer is severely flawed which leads to where most of its fun comes from, 4 people screeching (literally . . . ) around a map won't really be putting thought into what's happening so expect to stay on one level for a long time. You can play co-operationally, but it's not your fault if you accidentally fire a rocket into the back of Brown DOOMs head right?

8 - Mobile Forces

I never played this game until a LAN, and I never played it when I left the LAN. This game I think was made purely for LANs, I didn't bother to check if it had a single-player to tell you the truth. The games name gives it all away, Mobile Forces, you are some crazy guys who need to jump in trucks and blow up the crazy guys on the other person's team I think. The high-light of this is a game mode called? I cant recall, but it involves driving a truck with a bomb trailer into the enemy's base then running like hell before it explodes and scoring you a point, mix and repeat. The fun thing is this truck can take a number of rockets head on, so you will be racing down a thin corridor lined with enemy soldiers all firing the crap out of your truck in hopes that it explodes before reaching location or hoping to kill you so they can steal the truck. GREAT FUN.

7 - Battlefield 1942

Battlefield quite possibly saved the MMOFPS (not a real genre but its still important). The only offering before that was possibly Tribes 2, but its following had died down towards the new century, gamers were disillusioned that there would be no more grand battles, that teams would be 8 on 8 death match in small corridors, your wings had been trimmed and it was sad. But then Battlefield stood up, it grew balls and shoved them in your face (bad analogy I know). Gamers were plucked from their Unreal Tournaments, their Quake 3s, their Counter Strike and thrust into humankind's greatest war, World War II, and it was good.

Combat came from the skies, the seas and the ground, epic battles where people worked together (or didn't). This game is pure fun, but like Tribes 2 it requires at least 10 people to give it a decent go, it is also quite resource heavy.

At this point people have been swamp with about 10 too many FPS based upon World War 2, but Battlefield is the best multiplayer conversion of the war and the biggest and baddest, play it now and you will be content that the world is indeed good.

6 - Tribes 2

The Rolling Stone Magazine said The Srokes album was made for Trills and Spills, Rolling Stone never played Tribes 2. Tribes 2 is the last game on my list to feature vehicles, the game would have been higher in the list apart from that you need quite a few people to give this game a real shot as levels are big and mayhem is giant.

Careering down a hill at speeds uncountable you race towards the enemy encampment, their treasured flag hidden from sight, enemy soldiers blur past beside you, hurriedly they turn to be shot to pieces by your brothers as they charge down behind you on foot, the Wildcat's engines churn as you veer onto the side of the road, the enemy satellite zooms past, you launch the Wildcat into the air, the nose tips, you can feel the weight shift under you as it slides down, gray walls approach rapidly, your knuckles white as you hold tight, turning the Wildcat left into the court, you bail as it clears the wall, letting go the Wildcat drops fast, exploding in a bright flash on impact, you fall into the smoky court, you see the pedestal, your body surges as you grasp the prize. As you shout the triumph you look hastily to your map, red blips everywhere, closing in, running from the building you run headlong into an enemy Beowulf returning to intervene on your little expedition, scrambling fast as you past, the Beowulfs engines hum as it turn after you, it doesn't fire straight away, maybe it doesn't know what is happening. You turn to taunt your belittled enemy as you do your stomach drops, that's why he didn't fire . . .it as if the entire team sat on the hill waiting and watching you, you know what's coming but you taunt non-the less, and in a flurry of light you are gone, the flag returned to its resting spot, but as with all things, you will be back.

5 - Rune

Rune was overlooked and under appreciated by everyone, I played it originally because it had Vikings and I was in a drought, plus it was only $30.00 (but it was in a 3 pack with two really bad games). After I had finished playing the Single Player I uninstalled it and let it gather dust for over a year, one day at a LAN someone suggested it, maybe Darkside or I might of, I cant recall but it doesn't matter because it was FUN. The first couple of rounds no one knew how to play properly so we were just running around, then someone learnt how to throw the weapons, the someone learnt how to use Runes to supercharge their weapons, after that it was open season. A Viking alone is scary, a Viking who has gone berserk with a flaming sword is something to be awed by. Rune is the pinnacle of free-for-all medieval Viking death match, maybe because it is the only game of the "genre". But it is something fun that you would normally not even consider because of its almost non-existent following.

4 - Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast

Outcast is Jedi infused super charged fun, multiplayer Outcast is really something to behold. Death gripping an opponent then throwing them off into a chasm is so fun you will find yourself standing by a chasm just to do it, but if you're not careful someone will throw you off in the same manner. I do not recommend Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy for a LAN though, even though it has better combat via different light-saber's and ability to pull off combos the actual game seems to have been slowed significantly over Outcast and the Force moves are nowhere near as effective, this makes for much less fun than what Outcast offers. Sure Outcast is far more unrealistic than Academy but that's kind of the point, you are a hippy with a light-saber after all.

Outcast = a must have at any LAN.

3 - WarCraft III

The second and last Strategy game on the list, WarCraft III (or its expansion). Sure you might think this game is here because I'm a self-confessed WarCraft fanatic, but it is very deserved . . . really it is. If you have WarCraft there isn't much point to have StarCraft on your LAN table, that's because StarCraft is the poor mans WarCraft (system requirements wise). WarCraft might not yet have its own edition of "Break the Condom" but in the absence of that you do have Sheep Tag and Forest Fire, both of which would make excellent LAN games, so would most of the Tower Defense games, and if your not into the WarCraft Custom Maps you can always just boot up a map and beat the snot out of each other. Play it now, and play it often.

2 - Unreal Tournament 2003

There is a mode in this game which is highly addictive when it comes to LANs, but I currently don't have it installed (since I never played it except for LANs) so I cant go and check what its called, also I'm a lazy gamer so I'm not going to check on a site for you. But you kill bugs and monsters with your friends then run like hell as the monsters get overwhelming in number. This mode is great fun because eventually you have to work together, and there will be numerous times when you and all your friends are huddled in a corner together when the monsters swarm and kill you all. So get this for some friendly action. UT2K3's actual death match is mediocre when compared to the next games, so give it a miss unless you're desperate.

1 - Quake 3: Team Arena

I am recommending Quake 3: Team Arena over everything else because its Quake, and it ownz j00. Team Arena takes Quake 3 and adds a few more layers of love and fun or guts and hatred if you will. TA is godly because you can kamikaze, effectively. Most games, like Tribes 2, you just hope like hell that flying off a cliff at 100mps (per second folks, not per hour) that there's something waiting in just the right spot to feel the hurt, TA you just sky rocket yourself halfway across the map and hit go, its all over baby, there's no running, there's no screaming, there's not even time to breath when that flash comes, its like looking in the face of god, but better.

You'll notice that most of these games require almost no thought to play, but that's kind of the point. At 3am you don't want to be thinking thought can lead to bad things. The games I listed may not the be most popular in the bunch but they will give you laughter and tears and tantrums all at once if your not careful, and that's generally what we're going for, big explosions and lots of blood.

On a side note, MS Word doesn't find, j00 as an incorrect spelling, that's j with two zero's, not two O's. I just find this highly amusing so I thought I would tell you.

Oh yeah, and next week I'm returning to my more informal Top 10's instead of a just a list of games fitting a certain criteria . . . here's a snippet So please refrain from putting any vibrating controllers down your pants

Until next week.


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Comments Comments (4)

Posted by Chief_Officer
On Monday 20 Oct 2008 4:34 PM
I've decided to offer no argument about Warcraft 3, despite the lack of maps that are actually well made, because you did not include Counter Strike. I applaud that greatly. Now, I would suggest that you try out Warsow next lan party; its free and crazy fast paced. Its pretty much the perfect fusion of Unreal Tournament 1 and Jet Set Radio... On extreme fast-forward. Lol, make sure to watch the tutorials though; it's not a normal fps.
Posted by Chief_Officer
On Tuesday 21 Oct 2008 1:43 PM
To add to what I said before, Warsow is a cell shaded spacepunk style game, maing it about the least realistic game in the world. And while you might walk slower than the unreal and quake games, most people spend very little time walking. This game's principle is gameplay over all else; so you end up having people moving at 3x walking speed, flying off walls and no-scoping you mid-air. Definitely a good game to add to anyone's arsenal, but watch out; the difference between pr0s and n00bs is VERY clear.
Posted by dop
On Sunday 23 Jan 2011 3:51 AM
Cool list, needs Nazi Zombies from CoD:WaW though!
Here's a handy site with a list of LAN games with info on each
Posted by indion
On Sunday 23 Jan 2011 4:27 PM
Well not quite my list but similar, there is a couple I haven't played so till I give them a blast a wont judge, all though I thought Battlefield 1942 could be ranked a little higher.