Rumour Monkey #8

Revolution finally unveiled? Nintencats? Killzone 2 for PS2? Read on...

Welcome to gaming's only animal-orientated column, the Rumour Monkey. As usual I'm coming to you from the urban cesspool that is NZG headquarters, ready to deal out to potential rumours, and anything else I can get my hands on whilst drinking my bourbon and spamming various gaming forums across the internet.

Now today comes a very special column, to celebrate the management team's hard work (cough, cough) re-launching NZGamer.com's new site. Today I bring to you the platform monkey! And no, it isn't the sort of platforms Ron wears when he's out on Courtney Place on a Saturday night, it's a special column dedicated to finding rumours from each one of the current consoles, the two major handhelds, plus that evil computer thing. Stick to typewriters kids.

Anyway, enough with educating children and exposing the NZG staff's hidden lives; we have some rumours to deal with.

Rumour: The Nintendo Revolution will be completely unveiled at the Tokyo Game Show on September 16.

Background Info: The website SPOnG has apparently learnt from representatives inside Nintendo HQ.

Monkey Says: Hmmm, it seems that everything is too ho-hum about this matter. I'm sure if someone inside Nintendo leaked this information, they would be lining up for their unemployment benefits quick smart. But it just seems that this website has sort of cracked the date that Nintendo has planned to unveil the console. Comments from president Satoru Iwata, stating that Nintendo will have "something big"� for the game show, indicate that possibly the revolution will be unveiled. Oh and on a side note, it will be the first time a Nintendo president will be at the show in three years. Coincidence huh?

Monkeys Confidence: 7/10 Bananas - This could be finally the moment all Nintendo fans have been waiting for.

Rumour: The team that developed Nintendogs, is currently planning to base a similar game on Cats.

Background Info: A recent interview with one of the games chief designers Hideki Konno, probed at the possibility of the game leaping to other species of animal.

Monkey Says: Whoa, enough of the probing already, who writes this material? Anyway, Nintendogs has been accredited to starting a craze� of sorts, similar to the Tamagotchi craze of the 90s. It's bringing more females to gaming, unfortunately, and also reaches a further audience that gaming wouldn't touch, so I'm sure if they had any financial aspirations they would think with their wallet, not their brain.

Monkeys Confidence: 8/10 Bananas - If I'm not back next month, you know some women's rights group has taken me hostage.

Rumour: Killzone 2 is coming out for PlayStation 2 and PlayStation 3.

Background Info: It seems some game retailers have been taking pre-orders for this title and querying the buyer whether they would like the title on PS2 or PS3.

Monkey Says: Before we begin, I deeply regret saying this but, who's your daddy? Remember back when I just started flaming and spamming NZG? And I said CPI is going down? Yes that's right I am the pimp monkey daddy. DIE CPI DIE!!! Ahem, anyway these retailers pose a very big risk in taking orders for a game that doesn't exist on a certain platform, so I'm sure they have fully investigated this before taking peoples money.

Monkeys Confidence: 10/10 - It's not like they're taking your money and then expecting to refund everyone, is it?

Rumour: Sony Online Entertainment is working on a sequel for the PSP action role-playing game Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade.

Background Info: A job listing on Sony Online Entertainment 's official Web site asks for an A.I Programmer for an action RPG title called Untold Legends.

Monkey Says: Of course why wouldn't they do a sequel? I mean it's only the best selling RPG on the PSP, but what you fail to realise is that it's the only RPG on the PSP. And although it was accepted by the overseas critics as a solid game, I'm sure that like any franchise the game will be de-briefed, then thought through to see a if a sequel is feasible.

Monkeys Confidence: 6/10 - Whore that franchise, Sony, we know you want to.

Rumour: The Xbox Live subscription price is set to rise to NZ$99.95 within the next three months.

Background Info: Certain rumblings within forums in New Zealand and Australia indicate the price rise is on the way.

Monkey Says: Food is going up, petrol is going up faster than an eighty-year-old on viagra, so why not Xbox Live? Microsoft has currently said nothing of the rumours making the rounds on the forum boards, but don't expect no news to be good news from Microsoft.

Monkeys Confidence: Monkey is undecided, and wanting alcohol.

Rumour: Rugby League 2 will not make Sidhe's self-imposed September deadline.

Background Info: Various rumblings on the boards over at Sidhe have caused fans of the game to panic over a later than expected release.

Monkey Says: The way I see it, no official date was ever set in stone, so really there is no grudge to hold against Sidhe should the game miss the assumed September deadline. With that said, keep an eye out for a late release this month, possibly around the 29th...

Monkeys Confidence: 6/10 - Don't quote me; otherwise I quote you a banana where the sun don't shine, buddy!

Well that wraps up another Rumour Monkey column. Look for the next addition in a month's time, where we may have a special guest. As always that was your favourite animal-columnist the one and only Rumour Monkey