cortez72's Blogs

In The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, CGI technology took Brad Pitt's face, and hinted at its value to a medium under which it can achieve its maximum potential.

You see, Brad's face is perfect for a videogame.

Void of emotional content, soulless eyes, yet chiseled features. His wooden acting reminiscent of the original Resident Evil (I believe some of his performances have even been referred to as a "Biohazard"). However, no game artist or developer has stumbled on this perfect marriage between Pitt and pixels.

Some of his Hollywood stable mates have made the transition to the world of video games- mostly through a vomit inducing movie spin off. Cat Woman anyone, no takers? It has a CG Halle Berry? Fail Berry. What about a few hours gaming with a version of Johnny Depp who can't blink? It was called Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest.

What I propose is taking groundbreaking game technology, developing it with a headless/faceless main character, and on completion- sending it to Hollywood to be looked over by potential leading men or women, as though it were a script for consideration. If the graphics, or story is horrible, the actor or actress can decline, to save their virtual reputation. God knows some of them have tarred themselves with the 'crap game character' brush. So, how about Killzone 2 with Brad Pitt's face on the cover?

Maybe I am asking too much. Maybe this dude's mug is not the most suitable canvas to paint a game franchise onto. After all, I like Pepsi, and I like coffee, but I have never boiled Pepsi to make a cup of java with. So if not a main character...

Rather, let's cater to some of the masses who feel they have been dumped on by Hollywood-game cash cows. There is some talk in the forums about the merits GTA4/Zombie free roam, brain eating, survival horror, splatter epic. May I propose:

You're dumped in a fictional recreation of LA, let's call the place Los Santos... no, no... Let's just call it LA. The only cars on the road are Hybrid's, they are useless to you as a means of transport, you couldn't outrun the hordes approaching you. But it's not groans emanating from their mouths, its lines like:

"My performance in Capote won me an Oscar!"

After wasting a swarm of Philippe Seymour Hoff-men, you are set upon by a pair of George Clooney's eager for you to review an old performance in Michael Clayton. Narrowly escaping that encounter you get attacked by Kate Blanchett, impossible to beat because she can morph into any character in history, male or female, human or otherwise. She chooses the snake from Anaconda, and after gorging on your neck the scene fades to black:

GAME OVER...RUN BY HOLLYWOOD CRAP.