Xenojay's Blogs

At a recent event I was lucky enough to take part in, I was surrounded by awesome people.

While myself and these awesome people spoke of wenches, booze and images that move, we happened upon a trend that may be secretly moving through the gaming world.

The rise of the BEARD!

Let’s have a look at some examples of characters coming back with beards, and new heroes being birthed with the gift of the beard!

Solid Snake!

When we met him in Metal Gear Solid on the PSOne, he is possessing a face of immense smoothness. That type of face that can be defined as that of a baby’s bottom.

He swings into action with his smooth mug, taking down a clearly advanced military establishment of some sort.

But time passes, and when he returns in Metal Gear Solid 2 on the PS2, BAM!

He’s packing a beard.

Now is he packing it to be more awesome than he already is? Or is it to show that he has aged somewhat? I’m not even sure Snake could explain to us why he is now packing the beard, but then again, Snake doesn’t have to tell us. He’s the motherf**king Solid Snake after all.

Up next, Soap MacTavish of Modern Warfare fame.

Now I think the above picture is actually from Modern Warfare 2, because I can’t recall seeing his face in part 1…as you are actually playing as Soap! But we have this possible 5′o clock shadow look in MW1 and then:

Look at that! Is it the snow? Or did his beard get manly for this particular part of the game as he saves someone from certain doom, the beard amplifying his manliness.

This seems to establish a pattern…

DOM SANTIAGO!

Dom. The best wingman a bro could ask for. In Gears of War, you are followed by your bro fo’ life Dom into the very fires of hell, on a path to clear the world of the Locust threat.

As we can see, he's already packing some chin-lint but due to the conclusion to Dom’s story in part 2, let's see what he's now packing:

Yes, the beard here is being used to represent a broken man. A man, who doesn’t want the stain of his former life washed away.

Yet, it also adds extra manliness. A look of strength that makes women think they can help this broken man. This big, bulky, muscular man.

Dom. The man’s man. The bromantic type. Dom.

ONWARD!

In part 1 of the Assassin’s Creed storyline, we play as Desmond / Altair. Desmond packs a weird little forest on his face:

But Altair’s a lot cleaner…

And sure, these people that Desmond is inhabiting, or imagining, or reliving won’t necessarily look exactly like him, you’d think they may share that same feature, as this weird forest represents some form of awesome-ness.

Of course, then Ezio comes along as a clean shaven sexpot:

But by Brotherhood, the upcoming sequel, he’s packing a little man forest!

What about the new fresh faces?

The protagonist from the upcoming game Bulletstorm:

He's packing a little bit of bumfluff. Obviously the guys in this picture decided to call it that too as they receive boots TO THE FACE.

And the new hero in Dragon Age II:

His sword is made even mightier by his beard of fury!

SO! I don’t know what this establishes, but it does seem that the beard is cool. And awesome. And manly. And ages you so you’re in that awesome age group of awesome-ness.

If that were the case, should this happen to games?

Can a beard make a game better?

Before I conclude, I missed one more character. That of which packs a mightier beard than all others!

Good work Sackboy. You are by far the most hirsute gaming character. EVER.