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Somebody Set Up Us The Hadron?

Published: Fri 12 Sep, 2008 | 16 Comments
Tags: Hadron, Collide, Collider, What does this have to do with games?, Wozza

 

Ok, so there’s a bit of a buzz around a certain experiment that could advance puny earth science… or destroy the planet? There’s of course a lot of theories and debate. Because this is the internet and it’s been ten years since I took science, I thought I’d chuck up my theories on something I don’t understand too.

 

Theory 1. The Smurf Theory.

 

 

When a relative atom is combined with another by a sizeable enough force, blue is created. Not just any blue though, oh no! It’s smurfing blue. If the balance of blue is too great, blue will infect every atom. This will eventually, over the course of a millennia turn us all blue too. And we all know the only pants and hats that look good with blue are white don’t we?

 

Theory 2. Groundhog Day

 

One possible unforeseen outcome of Boffins having too much free time, money and too many toys could the bending of time and space. Time being sometimes quite considerate has given us a window to either stop the experiment or to invent a flux capacitor to put an end to the loop. You have to ask yourself though, if we all remembered each loop, would it be too bad? No ageing or getting sicker, or would you get on the wrong side of that deal? No getting better and imagine being an infant all your life. Hopefully this happens on a sunny day.

 

Theory 3. Daleks

 

Of course the most likely and sound theory according to an emergency MSN meeting is that we are but pawns. The whole experiment was actually co-ordinated by Daleks as the first step in a plan to exterminate humanity. Of course they made us think it was our idea all along. Something about aligning planets and darkness… or something.

 

 

But fear not, the Osterhagen Key can destroy the Hadron… oh wait…

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